It has been very hot, but relatively comfortable in the house. We've got the curtains up across the doorways again, like every year. Kind of makes it seem smaller in here, but I don't really mind.
Kids stayed outside most of the day, Pixie went off to a friends' for the night and returned late, we were preparing a curried stir fry when she finally got home. Laylah had fun playing alone most of the day as the older girls only came in occasionally to eat. Everyone seems to be hungry so much more often in the summertime.
I fought with myself all day regarding my work with the one Order, while wanting to turn my focus completely on my A.'.A.'. work. I haven't made a decision yet. One of the Orders I belong to is very corporal. It takes so much time, and energy, and breaks my heart. Not that the A.'.A.'. doesn't break one's heart, just on a deeper level, and for a reason. I thought I had a reason with the corporal order, but time is bringing me to seeing my work there is only bringing me physical pleasure if any pleasure at all. Even that is at extreme cost.
Entered temple around two, had a chance to banish and pray. It felt very good. I have found an entire new world open up to me working with the Sephira and less with elemental energies. I'm taking it as pathwork, and less of the planetary magick I so much enjoyed a year ago. The first year of my Probation spent blowing myself up, this second year spent humbled by having done so. It is said 'after the first year his initiation MAY be granted to him'. What earnest Probationer deserves it at just one?
Ah, ten o'clock and silence. It is a good time to meditate on these thoughts I would suppose.
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