An iv19 Sol 12° Leo, Luna 20° Libra Dies Jovis Thursday, August 04, 2011 e.v. 2:15 PM

The four youngest kids are in school!  All day!  What have I decided to do with myself?
I have been involved in the Ordo Templi Orientis for a while, and have met some of the most wonderful people there.  Some of the people are there, from appearances, for some kind of social club atmosphere or grown-up games.  Some of them are genuinely kindred souls on a journey along a current which is undeniable.

Recently, there has been a huge change in the women I've met there.  We are all finding ourselves.  Losing weight, starting ventures, becoming beautiful.  It is amazing to see.  It is a transformation that has been very poignant in my own circle of Sisterhood, and along the venture in my local area there are several of us who have gotten started creating our own businesses with the help of a very secure and exceptionally encouraging place called Primerica.  I have spent the last month with two Sisters who have shown me that potential and Will are not something we have to fight for.  We have it in us, God lives AS us, and we are going out in the world and helping people in a way that is so less soul draining than any other venture I've ever looked into.

My first thought was to be cautious, and of course I am being so.  However, seeing the optimism, the glow, the great strength that my Sisters who have come from places where women were subjugated.  I am encouraged.  My baby is 5 now, my oldest is an adult and perfect and independent.  I am stepping out into the industry of finance.  I am working towards an insurance license, and a securities license.  Even with these alone should this venture prove to not be my will I have two very secure doors from which to emerge into the world and be.  I am excited beyond excited to have the opportunity to both work with these most Excellent Sisters who are showing me the truth of Fraternity.  And I am most excited to see the transformation in myself which is uncovering the Beauty which I have hidden for so long.  My own beauty, which is the reflection of my Higher, who is once again guiding me with Truth and Wisdom,..

I am so happy, I have reached my first set weight loss goal.  Honestly, at one point I weighed 265 pounds. Granted I was pregnant with my littlest at the time, but that weight didn't go when she was born.  That weight didn't go when I fought and fasted.  That weight didn't go until I was in my temple one day frustrated in my asana because my belly sat on my lap halfway down my sleeping legs which made me angry.  I said to myself "I would be happy at 168".  I weighed myself this morning at 167.  It is amazing to me.  Almost one hundred pounds is gone.  I can wear a size 12!  Hooray for a statement of Will!  My next goal is my IQ, which is 147.

I was frustrated a couple of days ago.  I had been trying to get my stuff lined up for me to be able to get the kids school supplies.  All of our kids started school Monday with old backpacks and a school  box and a few crayons.  I called the DHS and they hemmed and hawed around and didn't call me back in time to use some of the services. I asked for a referral anyway on faith.  Was going to use the child support to buy some shoes, it didn't come again this week.  On Wednesday morning, right after Mercury went retrograde in Virgo, I did something ludicrous.  I invoked Mercury right after AM resh.  I went back into the temple after noon and did it again, full invocation this time placating to the God to be lassoed backwards to me, hearing my pleas to communicate to the Universe our needs.  Asking for swiftness, resolution to our school supply problems and my husband's disability claim (his type 1 diabetes has worsened significantly).
Last night all things were skew-wise.  I was vibrating with force, still reeling from almost giving myself heatstroke when invoking Mars on Tuesday in 109 degree weather (thus 102 degree temple) and a headache of epic proportions started as I did my invocations to Mercury.  I was really afraid that I had really done something which was contrary to my desires.  I had discordance everywhere I turned.  I ended up at one am in my temple in tears in my chain circle ready to lie there and let heatstroke take me completely.  Then something happened.  Something moved.

I didn't sleep all night, not worrying but just in constant thought.  Mercury chatting.  Mercury once told me that He "Informs" Tiphereth.  

This morning my husband took the referral to the Presbyterian Urban Missions.  They not only agreed to supply all the kids' school supply needs but they filled our cabinets with food.  Not just canned stuff but fresh veggies and fruit and sweet potatoes. Enough to share with my Sisters!  Even meats!  Backpacks of school supplies and even toiletries. They also paid the rest of our Gas bill, freeing up our little bit of money to cover the electric bill.  

And right after that great news, Social Security called.  That is moving too!

And then, my wonderful Sister, Team Leader and growing to be awesome friend and ally came to help grow my optimism even more.  Tonight we've got another meeting.  With all of this, as soon as the money comes available for my application for licenses (which I KNOW will come at the perfect due time) I can move forward to a point where I will make money.  Not month to month scrounging hourly work, but residual recurrent income.  It wont be long before I can buy myself a car, and I'm making such contacts that I have a great feeling I will find someone to buy my house- so I can stay until I can buy it from them.  That is my ultimate desire.  I love my house.  I love my temple.  I love where I live, the kids' schools, the proximity to my Oasis.  Everything.  The Universe did not give me it to take it away.  I have to believe that.  I knew and recognized this house when I first set eyes upon it on a section 8 website.  It is mine.

Now I've got to go. I've got to get cleaned up because I'm meeting my Team with Primerica tonight. We're going to move mountains!