I've been up and down trying to apprehend a venture. Along the way my own magick has preoccupied my mind, plus walking two or so miles a day. I've also been working with Primerica, which has been interesting. I still don't know what to think but the people are highly motivational and my trainer in particular makes life seem like it can only get better. I'm looking forward to it.
Had a breakthrough in my own mind, wrote the first poem I've written in years. The beginning is personal, the end is profound.
The Garden.
I wish I could remember how this dream began
I’ve tried to re create it, but I lost it, my friend.
I can’t even recall the moment that I fell to sleep.
But what I do remember was the most beautiful thing.
I should have had knowledge that dreams had an end
But I tried so to slumber and recall it again.
I have never my lifetime dreamed a dream so sublime
That I’d cling to forever, just to drink from the vine.
But somewhere I should have realized the dream had gone
When I awakened and found myself, the dreamer, alone.
That shadow that followed gave me comfort and shade
But the shadow was imagined, and the shelter unmade.
I cannot recall, love, when I fell to sleep.
I must have been tired, must have needed to dream.
For it was real, and was tender, and began long ago
And I refused to awaken for the dream I loved so.
Forgotten the struggle, the dream strung through time.
And I fought to stay sleeping and slumber a while.
Then I awakened, and shocked, that the dream ill had gone.
Then I awakened, and shocked, that the dream ill had gone.
I did not want to wake and find me, the dreamer alone.
Let me sleep now, let me slumber
Let me dream once again.
Let me create us a Garden of innocence, my friend.
Let me never awaken to find myself dreaming alone
That I had fallen to sleep, and my love, unknown.
Let me drift, let me imagine, let me hope and create
Once again the beginning of this romance so great.
And let me never be roused, leave my sleep undisturbed.
So I can be innocent, my lover, unhurt.
I can’t even remember when I fell to sleep.
But I dreamed rather quickly the most wonderful dream.
We were One, not another, we knew nothing but love.
We flew heights together, my soul-mate, my dove.
And you were perfect, our love innocent,
And our dreams were the same.
We knew, nor desired otherwise, nothing Else had been made
That was not ours, a creation, manifestation of One thought
That was not ours, a creation, manifestation of One thought
Our dreaming minds created, perfected, begotten.
Somewhere, forgotten, the start of the dream.
We both shifted our bodies and a ripple was made
That roused us, one another, and the doze became troubled.
And we both became dreamers, struggling separate, to remember.
But forgetting, uncreated, Our One dream forgotten.
And we slept, and we slumbered, and we tried, but imperfect
To dream of our Garden, our dream once connected.
By our hopes, and our memories, distorted, undone.
Of a time and a dream when we dreamed Love as One.
Should it last, eternal, should we recall that Garden?
And remember, together, when the dream was begotten?
And fold back together, and be One who dreams Dreams
As a Unity, without knowledge of existence, a tapestry seamed.
Perhaps I am now dreaming, and this dream whence I made
A dream which created by my self only, a delusion, a shade.
Forgotten, my Other, the Origin of Love
Unable to remember that I slumbered, my dove.
I cannot remember and yet try to sleep.
It is folly, this Garden, this World, and this dream.
There is nothing in sleeping, but phantoms untamed
When the dreamers have forgotten that as One, we were made.
When the slumber has created a world and a mind
That mocking the perfection of creation does bind.
Rather than caressing the soul cast as One.
There the glory of innocence,
Where the moon is the Sun.
-Aedria,
Now I'm going to go off to do other things, will likely not blog again for a spell. Less time than ever now that I've started a career and have the kids off to school.
